The Hypnotized Chicken

I is what I are.

It's been a while. Okay, more than a while actually. Slowly listing out all that has happened between the last post and now would take a lot of time, and I'd probably develop callouses on my fingers. So, what the hell. I has updated.

Update nia.

Nothing is sound.

Yup, it's that month again. Now more than any other time would we be most likely to see a rogue spirit or two. But then again, they're probably zipping by us as we walk down the street, doing what ghosts usually do by staying invisible. Kinda like ninjas, only less hong gan. I'm not one to play down the seriousness of it though. Not after what has come to be known as the Oil Lamp Escapade of 2007.

Moving on to happier things, I've finally zhammed ball after God knows how long. Finishing is damn woeful though, and I tire even faster than my grandmother would. Still, it is good to finally be getting back to playing again. Hopefully it becomes regular.

Anyway, I was like out buying carrots earlier and while walking back home, I heard the distinct clacking of mahjong tiles. Cue cliche: It seems only just yesterday when us guys were in secondary school. 7 of us can squeeze into Hendrick's Dad's car as we fulfill our daily routine of going to his place, drinking coke and eating instant noodles. And oh, mahjong of course.

Growing up is such a damn chore. It's like suddenly you feel you need to be more sensible, more responsible. I think I've mellowed. Damn it. I'm just not as crazy as before, and it's because I can't afford to be. But, seeing how it's finally the holidays, I do want to just go back to the days of strolling around at 3am, looking for coke cans to set on fire.

But no, going crazy isn't as easy as it sounds. For one, I'm broke as hell. And that's quite hard to accomplish seeing as how people are burning hellnotes like crazy. Just going out costs money, so the only thing I can do and not spend money is rotting at home. With tv shows that I watch on a laptop. Bloody irony. Oh well, at least I have a big bottle of apple juice and I've just replenished my ziplock bag of hacks sweets. One would think life couldn't be better. Oh the ignorance.

"As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives, each wife had seven bags, each bag had seven cats, each cat has seven kittens. How many were going to St. Ives?"

"That bloody polygamist!"

Standing on the edge of something good.

I think it has been almost a month since I last blogged. Schoolwork has been hectic as hell with lots of sleepless nights. Started with being picked as one of the teams to pitch to SGH. When we got chosen, I was actually pretty frustrated because it meant extra work with no extra credit. However, it ended up being extremely fun, and I thought we did way better than the pitch to tutors. Plus, there is actually extra credit, so I guess it's win-win.

Then it was on to Masina. Final report plus presentation. Having like 10, 000 statistics made it damn gay. Okay, so it wasn't 10, 000. But still, there were lots of numbers and it is generally very tiring to be staring at numbers for whatever reason. The presentation itself was damn funny because of the number of times we used the word 'sex' in our presentation. The introduction itself had like 15 or so of the word and it was honestly quite difficult to keep from laughing.

Moving on, I still have a couple more articles to write for printjourn, but other than that, I'm more or less done. After which, there's two exams to look forward to? Okay, one of them is open book, so technically only one needs real hong gan studying. Then it'll be a short holiday before IBP starts and school will beckon once again.

I'm still here.

Slashed throat Simon.

First week back in school and it has been not that bad. Couple of lessons were cancelled due to AYG while others were cancelled due to quarantined lecturers. But, there was still a deadline here and a presentation there, which could be seen as a weird version of Old McDonald but lets not go there. All in all, the week was quite a good one.

Weekend wasn't too bad either. Saturday started with bee hoon for breakfast, then it was a couple of episodes of Burn Notice. Then it was off to tuition before meeting my mum and sis for grocery shopping at NTUC. When we left, they both started guai lan-ing the cashier who served her because her face looked angry. That and the fact she was very careless with our items. Anyway, it was back home, stoning with cards and FM for awhile before heading to Hendrick's place.

I didn't go to his place last week because of I can't remember what already, so I thought I should go this week and leave my assignment for tomorrow. Ended up with just Choon, Jin and I going. Played a bit of PES 2009 on the Wii, which felt damn weird. Then basically stoned with instant noodles and weird forum topics. Just when I was about to die of boredom, my friend came along with this, this and this. Weird stuff all round but quite amusing nonetheless.

Then I cycled home and I didn't feel like sleeping so I went for a run. Like 4 plus in the morning till 5 plus in the morning. It was gay. Came back, showered, then slept. Woke up at like 11 and remembered Crisis Communication Assignment is due tomorrow. The name alone sounds daunting enough but it's pretty okay. After starting at like 1 in the afternoon. I've finally finished it. Can't wait for the holidays to come so I can go crazy. Damn.

"I, can place six degrees of dinosaur with you, right now."
"How bout you play six degrees, of kiss my ass."
"Now that just sounds like a totally disturbing game."

No Homo.

Between planned goodness and unexpected goodness, unexpected goodness always wins. Yesterday's planned goodness was meeting Nat at Orchard for sandwiches. Damn good sandwiches I might add. Though Nat ended up leaving the coupons at the restaurant. Yesterday's unplanned goodness was whatever happened after Chiang. Anyway, after sandwiches, it was to Plaza Sing where I got my cards. Nat saw an amusing colour change. I saw an amusing, erm, an amusing, well I didn't see anything amusing.

Called Chiang because we were curious as to why he had to go to CCAB in the morning. Turns out it was for some AYG thing. Anyway, since I was at Dhoby, which is one stop away from City Hall, Chiang said I should go collect our long overdue incentive pay from the IT Show. So Nat and I went to Funan where I collected the cheques then we went to a MacDonalds that smelt like cheese and there was an irritating gift shop nearby. The reason it was irritating was because of the windchimes it had, and it decided to set up a fan to blow them. Yes, I said it.

Anyway, we were stoning there with ice cream so we decided to ask Chiang if he wanted to come and find us from school. He said yes, so we waited there from 4 to 6 before he finally came. He had fries while we messed about with cards and a bit of (bad) magic. Then we finally left at 7. We were deciding where to go for dinner when we thought we should just walk out and see where inspiration will take us. Turns out inspiration sounds like Chiang saying "Clarke Quay". So that was where we went.

Crazy Elephant, two pints each, several ciggarettes and a big cock later, we finally decided to get food to eat. Not at Crazy Elephant though. We went to some bah ku teh place which was damn sex. Nothing like pork and Chinese tea to wash down beer and fags. Yes, I know how that sounds. Anyway, yesterday was fun from sandwiches right up to the bus ride home where we talked extremely obscenely to see how much whoever was sitting with us could stand. That is just a damn ironinc statement.

You're not the only one having fun.

Reset.

I've been avoiding sleep for some unknown reason lately. I spend all the extra hours I have doing a lot of nothing. I still have assignments and stuff to do. It's a weird feeling. I know I have things to do and I know I have the time to do them, yet I feel like doing everything else except the work. It's actually quite a nice feeling. I sit at my desk, which could honestly use some packing, and just while time away on random things. What could be better.

The organised mess on my desk is actually quite entertaining by itself. There's rubber bands, a clock that doesn't work, a small lock that I don't have the key to, cards (some of which are torn), metal plates and screws that used to be in my arm and of course the stray pieces of paper that used to mean something at one point or another. That's a weird bunch of stuff to have on a table, but I think that's just the way I work.

Productivity is just not my strong suit. I like taking several steps backwards just to watch things pan out. "You need to be a man of action!" Someone once said. I think Someone gets credited with way too many quotes. I am definitely not a man of action. Not even one of reaction I think. Doing stuff just seems so troublesome. I have an urge to run away somewhere and do nothing for awhile. But life doesn't work like that so I guess nothing will have to wait. Orange juice is like sex by the way. Oh and I would like to apologise for the paragraph that follows. To the undiscerning eye it will appear as nonsense, to the discerning eye, it will also appear as nonsense.

"I call bullshit." Yes, it is something that Someone said. But it's understandable. I mean extraordinary claims have to have extraordinary proof. "That's exactly what I was dreaming of, I swear." Then there's the weird look that everyone is giving you. You raise your hand and there it is in ink on your palm. "Pineapples." The guy goes "No fucking way". And the girl just has her mouth open. And you are thinking, should have made it mangoes.

Go on Dr. Fun. Tell me what's my happy memory.

Reswindled.

This semester is passing by too damn quickly. My last post was just before the semester started, and now almost nine weeks have gone by. Deadlines have been gay this time round with hardly any rest between each of them. Now is supposedly a term break, but guess what? A deadline and a consult tomorrow. Then there are deadlines coming up just after the break as well. All this just means that this term break is the school's way of saying "Hey, no lessons, but you still need to do work".

Even then, I still feel like I've been very idle so far. This is probably because I have quite a bit to do, but have only been doing a bit. Yes, I've been leaving out the quite. Bloody hate the deadlines, but I've been at it for 2 years plus already so quitting now would be dumbassery in all its glory. I don't care if that's not a word, I'm using it anyway. In fact, all these deadlines have made it quite impossible for me to continue tutoring the twins. So I'm now just left with one student, though that has been increased to twice a week so I can actually make enough money.

Okay, let's see, what else is happening. Oh yes, Ronaldo's running away. It was going to happen sooner or later, I just hoped that it would have been later. Much later. Anyway, I'm hoping that the right signings can be made to fill the gap. Plus maybe some of the youngsters especially Tosic can be given more of a chance the coming season. Also, it would be great to see Hargreaves playing again though that wouldn't happen till January providing everything goes well.

Moving on to something unrelated to football. I've been trying to cut down on the amount of Coke I'm drinking. Instead I'm now drinking a crapload of orange juice. That can either be a lot or very little depending on your definition of crapload. Other than all this, life has been pretty much the same. A mixture of good stuff and bad stuff. I spend most of my days either by my lonesome or out with friends. And finally, really, really, screw all the bloody deadlines.

Little stapler keychain.